Saturday, January 22, 2011

We played hooky.... of the beauties that blanket homeschooling. I love the flexibility it affords. And some much needed family time.

Early in the week, the weatherman was forecasting some snow for our area. Not a lot, but enough to get us excited about hitting the slopes, once again. To add to that beauty, a good friend blessed us with a handful of free lift tickets to a new favorite ski spot close by. We played the wait and see game, waiting to see it the snow would actually come (you know those weatherman have been known to be wrong), and to see if my husband's calendar stayed open for that day. It did.

The only hiccup was my scheduled radiation. You can't easily play hooky from cancer. It has a way of showing up and staying around, and permeating every aspect of life. As the week wore on, I discussed this with my radiation nurses, whom I might add, I have grown to love. We joke. We laugh together each day. Our lives are becoming connected. Cancer does that. A beauty of the disease. A beauty that I love, as I am a connected person. I actually look forward to seeing them everyday. Crazy, I know.

Ok, I digress. Too many thoughts stirred up in my head.

I asked the nurses if I could change my time on Friday from 1:45 to early morning, telling them that we were going to try to take the kids skiing. They willingly obliged. On Thursday, as the snow seemed imminent, we discussed through Friday morning's treatment, as the snow was due to arrive overnight. It would make for a slippery ride to the Radiation Oncology Dept. in the early morning hours.  Testing the waters, I asked what would happen if I missed a day? Would that be ok? And they said the day would just get added on to the end. With that information, and the above pieces creating a beautiful picture..... I did in fact play hooky and off to the slopes we went.

I have a lot of momma guilt that I have been dealing with lately. That I should be doing more. Being more present when I can. More engaged. And the daily stress of leaving each day for treatment, begins to wear on us all. It is hard. This round of treatment presses in on all fronts of daily home life, unlike chemo, where you got a "normal week" between bi-weekly treatments. Both sides are beasts with different names. And then I come home from treatment and just feel tired. And the selfish me rears its ugly head, as all I want to do is crawl into bed and shut everything out for just a little while and rest, decompress, close my eyes.

I haven't found the balance just yet.

And so, Friday, I put it all aside, and off to the slopes we went. Not that I'll make a habit of doing this, but yesterday, it felt good and the kids thanked us as we drove home at the end of the day.

On a side note, midway into the day, Seth came back to the ski lodge saying his head hurt, his body ached and his belly wasn't quite right. He put two chairs together and laid in the lodge for the afternoon. We left early in the evening because he just wasn't feeling well. He awoke in the night and thankfully made it to the bathroom just in time.  The stomach bug has officially invited itself into our home. I pray no one else gets hit with it.

Our little snow bunny. She has finally mastered skiing independently after hours of snowplowing alongside daddy. 

Jed and I spent most of the morning skiing together. Well he snowboards. I ski. He is quite good  I might add and many an adult snowboarder stopped us yesterday asking how old he was.
And one even said, "Wow, he boards better than I do!"

Me and my little boy riding to the top. 

Getting in line to do it all again. 

Ben, Luke and daddy riding up the lift. So much fun!!

Much love,


Debbie said...

I am soo happy you got to do this. What a fun day. Poor Seth...I hate the stomach flu too. Hopefully no one else is hit. ENJOY the rest of your week-end. HUGS

Melissa said...

Thank you for sharing the thoughts swirling in your heart and mind Your blog is such a gift to me!

I am so glad that you were able to play hooky and enjoy the day playing in the snow. Your children are so cute! I am praying for you as you continue on in the journey and I am praying that no one else gets that icky stomach bug!

Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words on my blog today.

Much Love in Christ,


Trisha said...

How wonderful you are able to do this, Stacy! Our children have never been skiing, but I'm sure they would have a wonderful time. May God bless all of you with renewed health and keep that stomach bug from making the rounds!

Sara said...

Stacy, I think that is awesome that you played Holley . Sometimes you just have to do that. What a blessing that you were able to have that fun and special time as a family. I am praying for you to be able to lay aside that mommy guilt (I can relate to that right now). Praying that we can both rest in the place god has us in right now.

Continued prayers for your healing friend!!


Debbie said...

Stacy, I'm so glad to read that your cancer nurses gave you the day off. It sounds like it was much needed time with the family. Sorry about Seth with the stomach flu though.

What a joy to read your words. In the midst of cancer, you find good things. Relationships that would never have happened ...except for a cancer diagnosis. I know the Lord is using you in ways you may not even realize as you glorify Him.

Blessings and love,

babyrndeb said...

what a great way to play hooky!! We all need that at times
At I'll pray that the 'bug' doesn't bite any one of the rest of you

Susan said...

How wonderful!

Jill - FNA Photography said...

Sorry to hear your wonderful day ended up with the stomach flu. Praying no one else gets it!

I'm so glad you had such a special day all together!!! So proud of you and all the kids! Yeah Jed!!!!!

Hugs and love,

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

So glad to see that God gave you another play day...your play days have been wonderful and such memory makers, what a true gift from God...they are just that a gift from God.
The joy of homeschooling is that is is just that schooling that takes place in all situations.
Wonderful pictures...sorry about the flu bug, I hope didn't touch the rest of you.
You finding balance...well this post shows the balance.

Emily said...

Looks like you all had a great day but poor Seth! I hope he is better today and the rest of you managed not to get it! Praying a great week for you all!


elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Mother guilt... I get it! So glad you were able to break free from scheduled plans to create an unscheduled memory. You gave your family a beautiful gift; they won't soon forget it, neither will you.


Genevieve Thul said...

WHAT FUN! My mom has pointed out to me again and again, that my cancer is God's way of pushing me out of my perfectionist mom box and teaching me that I can't possibly be IT for all of my 4 children all the time. I am leaving "holes for God" to fill their lives, she says. I rest in that. It helps. Cancer inevitably steals some of the old mom away.

Amanda said...


Sounds like a fun family day! No better way to make use of a snow day then with the ones you love! Hope all is well; have you been getting my messages?

Much love,

JillAileenJones said...

You need to stop over to my blog-I nominated you for an award!
Love you and your blog!!

Jenny said...

I am thrilled--and a bit jealous;) that you got to go SKIING! We LOVE skiing, but haven't been in a while! What fun and what great memories you made. I'm sorry Seth got sick. Bummer! Did anyone else come down with it yet?

Deidre said...

What a fun time. I'm so glad you played 'hooky'. We're all looking for balance. What I've learned is that God honors our hearts and there's no need to take on 'false guilt'. You're doing a beautiful job.

{darlene} said...

Playing hooky!! Isn't that what living is for?????
I am SO glad you did this. Precious pics and such fun!

I am praying for you with the Mommy guilt thing. Oh, it is NOT from God. Don't we all struggle? Knowing we should be more present. Knowing we should always be connecting? ANd that is WITHOUT extenuating circumstances. Ah, but we are mere human. All longing for perfect love.
Love that mommas can't give.
Love that no one can give.

How can one find balance when such a thing does not exist?

Forgive yourself right this instant. Hug them. And forget it.
They already did.

{and remind me to come back and read this tomorrow!!}