Saturday, October 16, 2010


Oh what a beautiful week it has been.

How I so love the life that God has blessed me with. Wishing that breast cancer didn't need to be a part of my life, but thankful for how cancer has opened my eyes to so many blessings staring me in the face each day. Blessings that I took for granted. Blessings from the hand of God.

As I was picking up the house yet again this evening, I was so tired (I know I'm a broken record on that one!), as there was a big pile of laundry calling my name from the laundry room, dishes were in the sink, homeschooling books still on the kitchen table, the counters had gathered odds and ends from the week still waiting to be returned to their rightful place, and the mudroom floor was littered with shoes from a girlie size 10 to a teenage size 11. The house was abuzz with noise from upstairs as the older boys were laughing and carrying on about their day tomorrow.

As I emptied the laundry basket upstairs, adding it to the pile already accumulated downstairs, I walked by my husband who was so graciously helping me get to the bottom of the dishes in the kitchen sink. In that moment, I told him, that I so wanted the house to be quiet and the piles all gone, that my body was tired and the day had been long, but I know that in too short a time, that will become our everyday. There won't be piles of laundry, shoes scattered, crumbs speckling the floor, laughter gracing our halls or feet running through the kitchen. They will be grown and acting more adult-like, forging paths of their own outside these four walls. I'm not ready for those days. These days go by too quickly as it is. And it is in those moments that my mind reminds me of my cancer and my fragility. And that none of us know what the future holds. That each moment should be mine to cherish.

By the hand of God, we have been blessed with 6 beautiful children. They are not ours. They are His. I know that deeply as God called Joshua home way before I was ready to let him go. They are on loan to us. God has asked us, no He commands us, to love them, to train them, to instruct them in righteousness, to teach them about God, to discipline them, to make disciples for Him. That is what God asks of me and that is what God asks of you. Our time to do all this and more, is so short. I don't want to miss a minute.

None of us know the number of our days. Cancer reminds me of that daily. That life is as James said, a vapor, a moment in time. How I want to make those moments count. The time God gives me to be a wife, a mother, a friend. I pray that it is long. I pray that He allows me to see my children graduate, be wed to the spouse He has chosen for them, to be a grandma, to hopefully see them walk in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and serve Him with the gifts He's given them. It fills me with joy just thinking about it. But I don't know. And so I take each day, as crazy as they are around here, and I invest in their sweet hearts and while I'm doing it...pick up the messes along the way thanking God for the time He has given me and the abundant blessings.

The week has been busy. I had my follow up appointment on Wednesday with my integrative doctor (Dr. Bazzan). He had run a whole slew of bloodwork, testing heavy metals, doing an estrogen panel and then a ton of other blood work. We went over all the results and he was very pleased with my results. He made a couple of changes to my supplements in light of the results, but was very optimistic about how my overall body was handling the stress of chemo and how it was fighting the cancer.

I had a Vitamin C infusion that day, as well. I must say, as I have walked this road marrying conventional medicine with alternative medicine, there is a lot of wisdom in both camps and if medicine would only see the merit in bringing them together easily for everyone, I think disease overall would look quite different. So much starts with diet, nutrition and exercise. You can't put kerosene in a car and then think it will go very long or very far. Why we think we can do that with our bodies, I'm not sure. Anyway, I thank God for how He has lead me along this path.

Overall, it has been a wonderful, non-chemo week. The boys continue with their football and racing season. Seth's team is undefeated and have their first play-off game tomorrow. Barclay is taking Luke and Ben to their 2nd to last dirtbike race. Seth is bummed to be missing that race, as it is his favorite track, but knows that he made a commitment to his football team and that is where he'll be. And I'll be standing on the sidelines, cheering him on!

May you too, be enveloped in the many blessings given by the hand of God. May we all have eyes to see them, not needing a disease or a hardship to open our eyes, but just a heart filled with thanks and gratitude toward God for all things. God is good, always.

"By the God of your father who will help you, And by the Almighty who will bless you with blessings of heaven above...." Genesis 49:25

Much love,


babyrndeb said...

your posts always inspire me...just the gentle nudge I need to remind me to take each day as a blessing. I find it the hardest when I've worked 12-13 hours and come home to dirty dishes and those messes everywhere...but as you said...these times won't always be here.
I think of you frequently and pray that you keep doing well with your treatment.

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Precious friend what a beautiful post!

I thank God that you are seeing Dr. B and feel comfortable with that route too!

I am thankful for the way you share this journey and the words the Lord gives you - to truly bless the rest of us.

Some days as a mom of 9 I need a big kick in the pants to be reminded of this season. The day can over take me if I'm not careful and don't stop to truly just enjoy them.

Love you bunches!
Hope to see you soon!

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Stacy that has been my prayer for you, that in the middle of all of this you would enjoy all that noise and activity around you.
This week I so missed getting up to a quieter house with less children. I wanted to go back for just one day when all five of them ran through the house.
I can't, and today is today, and I must not rob from today looking at the past or hoping for the future of grandchildren...I am to enjoy the two that are still at home.

I am so glad you week went better. I am so glad you are mixing conventional with alternative, I do believe in both...that is what our pastor has been doing. It is God's hand on both.

Have a wonderful week. I pray you will continue to grow in strength and wellness.

Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Debbie said...

Oh Stacy you could soo easily be me several years ago...I didn't have 6 children, but I had 4, and trust me sometimes it seemed liked 6. I had the 3 WILD (or so they seemed, haha) boys and then my daughter. It seemed at the time as if it would NEVER end. Constant laundry, messes, confusion, over lapping schedules, NOISE, etc. Even as they grew older. It was just a different kind of noise and confusion. And very frequently soo many of their friends as well would gather at our house. But as my boys began to marry and move away and it was just my daughter at home things changed drastically and I began to see just how quickly it really is all over. I held onto her while encouraging her towards her independence. She married a month short of her 22nd birthday, 2 weeks past her college graduation and moved 1000 miles away with her dairy farmer husband. Right before she left my middle son hit some difficulties and moved back home. Just as we were finally moving from our home of 25 years where we raised all those kids he moved back out and now our nest is FINALLY empty. Oh how I miss those days sometimes!! It's sooo quiet now. Things generally stay RIGHT where I put them. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when they are all here and the house swells again with noise, confusion and the sound of my grandkids running feet. I remember when I was your age, well meaning women would try to encourage me and tell me to enjoy every moment as the time will slip away in a blink of an eye. I thought to myself "Yay right...haha" But it really did. I love that your eyes are wide open and that maybe the cancer haa made you appreciate and hold onto that which you might be wanting to race quickly through. I am soo glad you had a good week and that you are doing the alternative right along with the conventional. Sooo wise I think. I'll pray specifically for your fatique this week, though I am sure a certain amount just comes along with the enermous job of being mama to 6 busy, happy people. God has truly blessed you! Hope you enjoyed the football game (how I miss those ~ can't wait until my grandsons are old enough) and that your week-end is going well. Hugs to you, Debbie
Sorry this is soo long...

Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debbie said...

Sorry Stacy for all the comments. I am not sure what when wrong, haha...but I could only erase one...sigh...sometimes I just too computer challenged. Have a WONDERFUL day.

LisaShaw said...

Oh Stacy,

Your words spoke volumes to my heart. I am chewing on every word and I could just sit down in a quiet place with you and serve you in whatever way I could...a pedicure, a foot rub, a nice hot meal, clean your kitchen, put away the clothes, clean up the house, prayer and just talking about the LORD -- whatever would warm your heart.

You are a gift to your family and they to you but you are also a gift to us.

All of what you said stood out to me but these two paragraphs I had to sit on for a few moments and just take it in:

"You can't put kerosene in a car and then think it will go very long or very far. Why we think we can do that with our bodies, I'm not sure. Anyway, I thank God for how He has lead me along this path."


" May you too, be enveloped in the many blessings given by the hand of God. May we all have eyes to see them, not needing a disease or a hardship to open our eyes, but just a heart filled with thanks and gratitude toward God for all things. God is good, always."

Great wisdom spoken in both of those paragraphs!

Praying for you and your family dear one!

Love and blessings!

A multi-dimensional life said...

Hi Stacy,
I am so happy that you had a good week! You are blessed with a beautiful family and the fellowship of a community which loves you dearly! I'm glad to be a part of your extended community in the blogging world! You are such an inspiration. Continuing my prayers for you and yours!

Sara said...

I am so glad that you had a nice week. I am so amazed myself at how those tragic and super difficul times have you appreciating all the little and big blessings of our lives.

Praying for you!

He & Me + 3 said...

Amen to the scripture that life is but a vapor. So quickly it passes by if we let it. I need to read this encouragement after my not so good day. Thank you for reminding me to take in every moment and enjoy it all because it goes by so fast.
Yeah for playoffs. that is just awesome. I hope it went well.
So glad you had a beautiful week!

Tammi said...

Stopping by to check in on you and see how things are going. Thank you so much for sharing your faith in this new journey. No doubt the Lord will use you as a shining light to others around you. I do pray that this will be a quick recovery and FULL healing too, all for the glory of God. :)
Sending a hug to you!