Saturday, September 4, 2010

A little bit of laughter...

So I haven't said much lately about the main object of my disease...the Betties. I thought we could all use a little bit of laughter as laughter is medicine for the soul. We've all got to continue laughing and smiling. There is so much to smile about!

After I posted about my first chemo treatment, I had a couple close to sister and dear friend.....comment about the size of my Betties from the pictures on that post. And a friend came over yesterday, who hadn't seen me in about a month, and that was one of the first things she commented size! It's ok, good friends can do that.

This is a bit outside my comfort zone, sharing with this much candor...but I'm sharing on this level as I've had many ask me about the filling process and I know, as women, we are curious about this part of breast cancer....and each week those of you who see me, see me growing. :)

This is where the comedy comes in.

Before breast cancer, I was, shall we say, rather small chested. I was glad for the person who invented the padded bra, as we were friends. (Funny how breast cancer thrusts you into an arena where you talk about something so personal that really wasn't open forum conversation before...but let's be real....breast cancer centers around the Betties.) I'll be tasteful! :)

Anyway, I often laugh when thinking about the whole filling up process. You see each week, when I go to my plastic surgeon.....He fills me up. As tissue expanders were put in during the mastectomy, they are basically hard plastic balloons with a center port for needle access. This is all under my skin, of course. But the idea behind the expanders is to inflate rather large, stretch the skin and prepare it for the final implants which will be silicone. The final implants can't go in until two months after all treatment is completed. So, we go through 4 months of chemo. They give my body a month to rest and then radiation will start probably sometime in early January. Those treatments will happen 5 days a week for one month. Then, Lord willing, I will be done with treatments and into the final stage of reconstructing my Betties by early April.

Radiation is pretty hard on the skin. It tightens the skin, causes burning and just overall makes the skin less elastic. That is why these fillings are so important, and the stretching process needed. My plastic surgeon wants to stretch the skin as much as he can, knowing it will be somewhat damaged after radiation. So each week, for the last 4 weeks, off I go to see my plastic surgeon and each week, I come home a little bigger and more stretched.

I thought you might want to see what awaits me at each of these doctor visits......

These too, have become my friends. Yes, those are big needles filled with saline. The little gray thing laying between the sharpie and the syringe is a magnet. The magnet locates the port on my Betty, the sharpie marks the spot and in goes the syringe. Out I go with bigger Betties....and residual chest pain as the muscles get stretched along with the skin. It is rather uncomfortable, I will say. You don't feel the needle going in, as I don't have any feeling now in the general area of my Betties, and the needle goes into the plastic expander......I'm hoping this makes sense.

Each week, I laugh as I walk out. It really is comical.

I haven't had a chest like this in a long time....probably since I was 18 or maybe since I was nursing and my milk was coming in....yeah...not comfortable.

And to think I still have 2 more fillings. I'm a little afraid of what I'll look like in the next 2-3 weeks. Yikes. There will be a lot of loose shirts in my future, as I have no desire to be known by the size of my Betties!! I mean really, I'm a huge proponent of modesty, so trying to take this all in stride and keeping the end result in view.

The other part that is comical is that the expanders aren't really round, as one would think. They are kind of oblong/squarish. So, as they fill up, they look more like footballs, as my plastic surgeon likes to point out. Yes, that would be accurate. My life is filled with football these days, so why not just look like one too! See, you really just have to laugh. :)

And then to put the cherry on the top of the right Betty decided that it should shift a bit down, so my right and left side don't exactly match up right. My plastic surgeon said he has only seen this happen in a couple of cases, where the muscle pushed the implant down. It's really pretty. So, back to the padded bra we go. Friends again.

There you have it. The life and filling of the Betties. It's ok if you are laughing, we are laughing and smiling together and really, life is too short to not keep it real and laugh together. It is one more stop on this journey. In the end, I'm told I will have some nice perky Betties for life. I guess the small physical silver lining in breast cancer. After 6 babies, my Betties will have gone from limp tea bags to something so much more!

Keep smiling and pressing on....

"Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, The LORD has done great things for them. The LORD has done great things for us, and we are glad." Psalm 126:2,3

Much love,


Debbie said...

Oh Stacy How I can relate to this post, haha....However, let me briefly tell you my story. I btw find it funny how easily I discuss these things now....and I too have NEVER had much in the breast department...I had decided not to mess with implants (I might change my mind later) soooo I am working with some weird cami with pads that I put in. Eventually I am going to have a prothesis made and call it a wrap....I have to wait till all swelling to go down which on one side it STILL hasn't. In the meantime I am dealing with shifting and moving betties. hahaha And you have to laugh. My sisters and I have and some literal hysterical laughs over this with tears rolling down our cheeks. I am MUCH bigger and perker and higher than I have been in years, hahaha....Now of course there are those tops that just don't look the same and sometimes I think I might just break down and do the re-construct, and yet I just don't know. I am alot older than you are and I didn't think I'd care that much. But I have found at times I we will see. But in the meantime, I am enjoying suddenly be a D rather than a VERY SMALL B....I hope you are feeling OK from your first treatment. I have thinking about you. Blessings to you, Debbie

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Oh, I can just hear my friend after her surgery...she smiled at all of us and said she had asked God for some "Big Ones"...she had been small chested.
Her joy just blessed us all and we all believed with her.
I pray you will enjoy your new "Bessies".

After six nursing children I could use with a lift!!! I think I will just tighten up my bra straps.

May you continue to have laughter, joy and smiles. May God continue to heal you physically and emotionally.
May you delight in all provisions...even in your new "Bessies"
Blessings...continue to pray for you...have an awesome weekend

Kari said...

Dear Stacy,

Oh my in two to three weeks we may be calling you Dolly!

I must tell you that I read your previous post first - and learned a great lesson about holiness!

Stacy, you are so holy, you get it big time and you have the ability to share your wisdom which is just what the Lord wants you to do! You are allowing Him to use you perfectly!

Your children are blessed to be learning about holiness in such a real and tender way from their mother...from their mother who still shows up for all of their activities despite how tired she is! I would embarrass you if I called you a hero so I won't (but you are!)!

So then, I read your post about the betties and a smile came to my face.

From holiness to betties - this is what I love about your blog! The highs, the lows, the reality of it all!

Hugs and Prayers,


The Montgomerys said...

I haven't heard of "betties", I've heard of Tatas. So cute! Thanks for the laughter!

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

ROFL! Blushing...need I say more!

Love you,

adrianne said...

Laughing along with you. Cannot wait to see how the Lord incorporates this in w I c. At least winter is coming......bundle up oh modest one.

Allyson said...

I praise God for the laughter He gives us even in these kinds of circumstances. We serve a gracious God! love you.

He & Me + 3 said...

You are too funny. Thank you for the giggle tonight.

Birdie said...

How funny, Stacy! I love hearing the comical side of things. :)

Runner Mom said...

What a great post! I loved your humor!! Thanks for sharing!

Thank you for visiting my blog. But, I'm not from Va.! I am from SC! Virginia is such a lovely place! I have a dear friend who lives in Roanoke, and we try to visit every so often.

Hope that y'all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. I believe that we are going to churn some ice cream after supper tonight! If you were closer, I'd say come on over and have a bowl!

Chris and Sarah said...

Jill just shared your blog with me and I LOVE how real you are and how you bring laughter into something that few would laugh about.

I can't wait to start following your blog.

Have a wonderful day!

Sara said...

I got interupted the last time I was reading this post... and just got to finish it now. You have an amazing attitude:) Never heard them called Betties before... I have to laugh at all the slang names we come up with for them:) Thanks for filling me in on the ins and outs of how that process was going, never having some one real close experience breast cancer, (other cancers of course) I never really knew.

Praying for the Lords healing on your body! Praying for him to continue to do a work in your life and heart through this all. It is so obvious he is carrying you through!